Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Compilation of Absurd Side Quests

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a comedic masterpiece brimming with unexpected absurdity. This article highlights some of the most ludicrous side quests encountered while exploring the unpredictable world of Bohemia. No main storyline spoilers here, just pure, unadulterated quirky fun.

Table of Contents

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

The charming town of Želejov, with its bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two incredibly lazy troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their problem? They lack money, an instrument, and any discernible artistic vision.

Image: ensigame.com

Henry, ever the helpful protagonist, embarks on a series of increasingly ridiculous errands. This involves lute theft (risking arrest and reputational damage), procuring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks for these musically-challenged individuals who refuse to work off their debts.

The grand finale? A soul-crushingly boring song celebrating Henry's less-than-glamorous exploits. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and the player laughs hysterically.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

Remember those lute strings? They require crafting by the inebriated hunter, Vojtěch, who, after a drunken encounter with wolves, found himself perched precariously in a tree. The "logical" rescue involves carrying him back to camp, saving his horse, and helping him sober up.

Image: ensigame.com

But what if you ignore logic and deliver him directly to the tavern? That's precisely what happened. The ensuing tirade from a disgruntled, injured Vojtěch is unforgettable. His subsequent compensation for Henry's "assistance"—a view from behind his shack—is equally hilarious.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

The Polovtsians, responsible for devastating Henry's hometown, are expected villains. Encountering them in a tavern, fueled by righteous anger, a confrontation seems inevitable.

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Instead, a bizarre turn of events leads to socializing, matchmaking, excessive drinking, and a bizarre singalong. Then, a talking dog intervenes, launching into a philosophical lecture about life's purpose and daring Henry to swim across a lake. The ensuing laughter is infectious.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

After mastering stealth and burglary, a single botched heist transforms Henry into Bohemia's most wanted. A seemingly minor oversight—failing to remove incriminating accessories and lingering smells—leads to a dramatic arrest (narrowly avoided through skillful persuasion).

Image: ensigame.com

The game's incredible attention to detail is evident in even the most minor consequences.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

A seemingly simple horse theft leads to an unexpected delay. Mikolaj, the gypsy horse trader, is asleep, and the stolen horse bolts before it can be secured.

Image: ensigame.com

Waiting for Mikolaj to wake up and endure his leisurely morning routine (porridge, spoon-licking, belly-scratching) before finally selling the horse is a testament to the game's commitment to realistic, and humorous, detail.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

These are just a few examples of the countless unpredictable and hilarious moments in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2. The game's commitment to realism and immersive consequences creates a unique and endlessly entertaining experience for players. Every choice, no matter how small, has the potential to trigger a chain of surprising and often comedic events. A must-play for open-world RPG enthusiasts.

Image: ensigame.com

Bohemia awaits!